Below are the 4 most recent journal entries recorded in toast150's LiveJournal:

Thursday, February 10th, 2005
7:12 pm	---Ok, this web site is quite inconvienent since for 2 straight days I tried to update this thing when I got home from work, and it wouldn't let me. Anyways, let me take you back to a couple days ago, when I was in my looking all over my room looking for something. Now I've lived in this room for like 3 years, and spent a ton of time in here. Writing papers, watching tv, etc. So I climb up on the desk to look on the shelf in my closet, and I turn around, and it all just hits me. I'm looking at everything that's always there, but somehow it's all different. Another angle and another perspective can shed light into those crevices that normally we wouldn't see. It serves as a metaphor, we can totally shift how we look at things, even if everything stays physically the same. And if you think you don't need a shift in perspective, try it anyways. --I mean it. Get up right now. You're probably in a familiar place. So get up and stand on your desk. Or go get a chair. Or lie under your bed. Just do something out of the ordinary. Go do it and take like 5 good long breaths You can't read anymore of this until you do. ---I hope you did it, and didn't tell yourself that you'll do it later. Or say, "Man, that's lame i'm not gonna do that." Because it is lame, but it's fresh too. Life is so filled with the pedestrian, don't miss a chance to break the mold and do something new. Think outside the box, and there's no better place to do that than on top of your desk. Current Music: Take Your Mama (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 19th, 2005
7:17 pm	My complaints ---A persistent thought has found its way back into my consciousness. It is something that I have found is universally human. People like to complain. A lot. Just having a conversation or overhearing one from anyone, you will almost always hear complaining, or small talk about the weather, or even worse complaining about the weather (Actually, I'd like to complain about small talk about the weather. It gets to be awfully tedious after a while to say the same damn things everyday. It's winter and we're in Scranton so yes, it's cold, and yes it's going to snow. This is a vapid and totally uninteresting topic of conversation, but I suppose most people are vapid and uninteresting most of the time.) ---All that aside, my thoughts are on these complaints that drive our lives. We complain about menial problems, and listen to others' complaints. And there's something therapeutic about this talking and listening. It helps us see that our hardships and strife are what makes us human. Without any turbulence, we're just an automaton on cruise control, barely alive. And we're not going to get everything we want exactly when we want it, cause that would make life awful boring. But most of the time, these things we want are minor and temporary. What may be today's major crisis, may seem small or be forgotten in a week or month's hindsight. ---Which brings me to my philosophy that I've had for a while now. I'd applied it to physical pain, but I suppose to anything. Whenever I used to have a headache, or a toothache, or a broken ankle, I would think "I wish this would go away, then I'd be fine". Not too long ago, I realized that when i was fine, I never took the thought to acknowledge it. I never thought, "hmmm, right now I am feeling no physical discomfort at all." ---Which led me to the conclusion that there are these moments in our lives that transcend space and time. When the world melts away and nothing exists except the here and now. They happen in a beautiful surrounding when we're with the people we really love. You can't force it either, but when they happen, you get chills. Like life is never getting better. And I've found if, while it's occurring, you acknowledge it; you can take a mental picture. And send a postcard to your future self. And when you need to see it, you'll see the fireworks behind the band that's playing on, or that sunrise on the beach that was so awe-inspiring a moment; and it will eliminate all doubt that life can be beautiful. Current Mood: nostalgic (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 12th, 2005
9:56 pm	Socks and shoes...... ---Somewhere between sleep depravity and an interesting night on the town, I came up with this weird new thought. It's about my shoes. This damn snow is going to make have to toss my old pair of running shoes cause they have no treads left, and me, snow and alcohol don't mix (See last winter). So tomorow I'm going to have to bust out the new shoes that have been hanging out in my closet for god knows how long. But the question begs to be asked, why have I worn these old things with the holes in them until they are so near death? ---I think it has to do with a way that shoes become such a part of you. The ones you wear everyday become our constant companion through everything outside of the house. I mean, this applies to just about all clothing. New pants especially, they really aren't comfortable until a few good wears. Even t-shirts just seem to clean and foreign the first time we put them on. And things like jackets or hats, we totally need adjusting time. There is, however, one exception. ---The exception is socks. No matter how well you wash socks, they are never going to be as clean and comfortable as the first time. Maybe it has to do with the teamwork with our old friend the shoes. It's like spicing things up with something new, but not so totally new that it rocks our world. There's something exciting about sharing a new experience with an old friend. I don't know why I'm thinking this, and maybe I'm the only one who thinks this way. Or maybe I'm wrong...I guess I'll find out tomorow when I put on those new kicks. Current Mood: tired (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 11th, 2005
8:55 pm	My first posting is about something really stupid ---Well I suppose since this is my first entry, I should explain why I held out for so long. I don't want to offend the people who religiously live vicariously through these journals, but I thought reading the details of everyone's life would somehow detract from mine. Amid major changes in my life, however, I find myself with both a more profound perspective towards life, and no outlet with which to share it. I don't know if this journal stuff will last, but until then, I suppose I will put my philosophical meanerings here. ---So what prompted me to write this may seem a mundane story, but I felt it serves as a metaphor for much of my feelings on life. This story begins yesterday when I went for my lunchtime cup of tea, when I found that the cafeteria was out of their usual cups. The usual cups are like the ones at Java City or Wawa with the lids having that lip and the elliptical slit, just the perfect size to put the wooden stirrer through. These details are incredibly small, but I suppose they are akin to when someone holds a door, or goes out of their way to help you; a small act in their day, but it can improve yours so significantly. Anyway, the cups were replaced by these crappy syrofoam cups which didn't have that lip I'm used to, no place to put the stirrer, and were just generally less aesthetically pleasing. So yesterday's tea was an exercise in function over form. ---Flash forward to today around lunchtime. As I walk to lunch, i find myself thinking, "I hope they have my cups today." And after that thought, I wondered if my life could really be that petty and insignificant. I felt that I didn't want to be thinking about the cups and whether they would be there or not. I suppose it was the feeling that in this vast universe where we live, how foolish or insignificant is the type of cups in this one cafeteria in this building. That would in turn make my life insignificant or futile exercise in self-importance. ---But as I write this, I feel reinvigorated. I realize that my problems, however small and seemingly inconsequential in the grand scheme of the universe, are still my problems. And I'm going to have to face them, big or small. I'm sure everyone runs into these same problems every single day. We all have problems like this, but we don't think so intensely about them. These small (and large) hardships just come in life, and if we didn't face them, we wouldn't be breathing. ---Now I could have taken this whole thing into the lame "You don't know what you've got 'till its gone" direction, but I didn't. Although, in case the suspense is killing you, they did have the cups, and my introspection did lead me to a greater appreciation of what was in my favor. So the moral of this story is stop and smell the roses? That's lame, but I'm new at this, so let it slide... Current Mood: weird Current Music: Sublime (7 Comments |Comment on this)